Sisterly Love

My sister is 15 months my junior.  Growing up so close in age presented many opportunities to bond.  We decided not to take those opportunities, and instead opted to argue, name-call, and kick the living crap out of each other.  

Her birthday is on Monday, so I figured the best way to honor that is to write a blog post about her.  

Things I've Done to My Sister That Give Her Every Right to Murder Me

1. Whenever we played "school" growing up, I was the teacher and she was the student.  And she always got an "F."  Without fail. 
2. I slapped her in the face in front of no fewer than three of her friends.  
3. My friend and I played hide and seek with her.  She hid in the bottom part of the entertainment center.  We put a paint stick across the door handles, locking her in there, and left.  
4. The same friend and I poured the sugar out of a sugar packet, replaced it with Sweet-n-Low, and fed it to my sister.  Foaming at the mouth.  
5. I let my friends take her stuffed animal (Aladdin's Abu) and amputate his leg.  
6. I often ate her leftovers from restaurants before she woke up.  
7. Whenever my friends and I did...hmm, anything...we would tell my sister that you had to be *year older than she was at the time* to do them.  She was never old enough to do anything with us.  
8. We forced her to ride her bike to the store when she was about 11 and get us sugar, then proceeded to mock her for saying, "you mean when I'm carrying a bag of sugar, I'm carrying five pounds?"  
9. She always had to sit in the back seat, even if she called shotgun.  
10. Does anyone remember how, on a landline phone, if you dial your own number and hang up, the phone would ring?  Well, my sister and I were doing that once so we could talk to each other.  My brother and I were downstairs, and my sister was upstairs.  My sister made the phone ring, and my brother picked up and said "Shortsville Fire Department."  My sister came down the stairs, white as a ghost.  

I did reap what I sowed in several ways, but most notable was the time I peed my pants walking home from school with my sister and our friend in seventh grade.  

Happy Birthday, sis. :)